DREAM WITH GOD'S PROMISES

DREAM WITH GOD'S PROMISES

Brenda L. Agee

 

         I haven't posted for a few weeks because I've not been well, but know that I have continued in my prayers for you all and also continued to think with excitement, about what to write.  It's good to be able to write today!

 

*************************************

         I recently stopped by a store,to check into purchasing a new phone.  I dropped my phone on a ceramic floor about 9 months ago and the glass face cracked so much it looks like a mismatched road map.  Although the phone still works, when I type a text to send I can't always tell what letter I'm typing so I have sent out some really strange texts!  Not only that, but when I'm reading texts from someone else I wonder why they are writing some of the things they write.  Then I remember the cracks in the phone.

         The young man who assisted me was quite pleasant and quite eager to make a sale.  You know the type, I'm sure.  He actually met me at the door before I barely got out of my car but actually he was quite nice.  If you've ever gone to one of the "telephone stores" you know it can take awhile.  When that happens to me, I simply start talking to someone.  It may seem a bit odd to you, but talking a lot has never been a problem to me.  Some people have told me I talk a bit too much.  That seems odd to me.

         Back to the young man: I asked him if he was a student and he said yes.  I asked if he liked the university, what his major is, what he plans to do with his major field of study and other questions like that.  But I did ask them one at a time, not all lumped together.  After all, it was to be a conversation, right?  He was just as eager to tell me about himself as he was to sell the phone.  However, I picked up on something as he answered back.  He is excited about his field of study, but he seemed less excited about what he would do with it.  He said he would probably just stay in the job he had - selling telephones was a second job - because he already had a retirement plan going.  A retirement plan?  My goodness, this young man is all of 21 years old and he is going to stay in a job he's had for one year and which he doesn't like because he has a retirement plan.

         He further stated that others have assured him that what he really wants to do may be out of reach.  Yeah, sure!  They sound like Job's friends in the Bible. 

         When I asked what he really wanted to do, his eyes lit up with that excitement again and he said he has always dreamed of working for a space program and maybe becoming an astronaut.  Twenty-one years of age, maybe 22, and he had already given up on his dream because of a retirement plan he has had for one year, and because of the so-called well-wishers who have turned out to be naysayers instead.

         "Look at me," I said.  He did and what he saw was a 63 year old woman lugging around an oxygen tank with the cannula (that is the oxygen tube) in my nose as if I was born like that.  But I smiled and he smiled back.  I continued, "When I was younger, I would never have thought I would be where I am today.  Disabled, can't work, can't do so many things I always thought I would do.  Never!  But here I am.  Please, whatever you do, don't get to my age and wonder why you never pursued your dream!" 

         I told him, if being an astronaut was his dream then let it be a dream he does all he can to reach.  Why, oh why!, do we let others tell us that our own dreams can't be done?  As he and I talked more, he became a bit emotional - tried to hide it but his eyes were a bit teary, you know - and he let me know that he again feels a kid who's always wanted to be in the stars.

         Now, this has little bit has nothing to do with the story but it was part of the conversation . . .  I laughed and said I go to other planets and stars every Saturday night when I watch the British television show "Doctor Who".  He just laughed and said he did too, so we talked about Doctor Who stuff for another five minutes.  How fun!

         Okay, back to the story . . .   

         However, wanting to do something and have my dreams come true means I've had to trust God even more.  I didn't tell the young man that sometimes our dreams have to change.  I didn't tell him that my own dreams at times were dashed and stomped on.  But it is always worth striving to reach a dream. 

         I come from a large family and growing up, my greatest dream was to be a godly wife and mother.  By the time I met the kids' dad, I had already been told I couldn't have children.  We were married a couple of months when miscarried and my health continued to get worse and at the age of 21 I was told  I needed a hysterectomy.  When I told the kids' dad, he started praying that God would give us peace and hold us through that most horrible of times.  As he was praying, I kept thinking about the first chapter of I Samuel.  I didn't even know what was in it.  But then my young husband, before finishing the prayer, reached for his Bible and he turned immediately to the same chapter.  There we learned about Hannah who was barren and God promised her a son.  I can't explain it to you, but we both knew that God was promising a son to us.  One dream lost with the miscarriage but God gave us a promise.  A promise! 

         We bought baby clothes and furniture and no one, except my own Daddy, believed that God promised us a son.  It didn't matter because we knew it.  Three years later, our son was born, just as God promised!  The naysayers had to backtrack quickly.

         When our son was three and I became pregnant again but I miscarried again only one week after finding out I was pregnant.  I was further along and miscarried at home.  I saw this tiny lifeless being in my hand and I screamed.  Oh how my dream shattered.  But we prayed and prayed and slowly peace returned.

         My dream never left me, though, and I began to pray for another baby.  I prayed and God answered.  He let me know that we would have another baby but He did not say boy or girl.  He led me to scripture and promised the baby would be a child of comfort.  One and a half years later, our daughter was born and she is as God promised!  Again, God gave us more than a dream that would shatter.  He gave a Promise!

         The third shattered dream in many ways was more devastating but I learned more about God and His love and caring through it all.  Yes, I lost a third pregnancy.  I was about half-way through the pregnancy when the doctor realized the baby was not in the uterus or tube.  The baby was in my stomach.  I was dying and an emergency surgery was needed.       Before they realized the baby was not in the uterus, I was put on bed-rest.  I cried and I told God He just didn't understand what it was like for me to lose another baby.  And as He often had and still does, He whispered to my heart, "Everyday, I call men and women to me to be my children and everyday they reject me.  They are the children I have lost."    I cried but I knew He was with me.

         Later I continued, "If you let me keep this baby, I will tell of Your glory to the tens of thousands!

         He replied, "If I bring this baby home to me, will you still praise me"

         "Yes!  YES!  Of course I will still praise You, My God and My King!"

         That very day I got a small notebook and I promised God that I would find something every day that was a blessing from Him that would not have been had I not been laid up in bed.  And I did.  It might have been a phone call, a prayer from someone, or how my two lovely children would crawl up in the bed with me with a pile of books for us to read together to make "mama happy."  Everyday there was something new.  I still have that notebook because it signifies how I learned there are always blessings from our Lord . . . in everything, He tries to show His mercy, but we don't always see.   "I once was blind, but now I see . . ."

         My dreams changed but with each change, I learned to look at what blessings were still in my life.  I learned to look to God's Promises.  His love endures forever, and so do His promises.  He promises to never leave us or forsake us.  He promises that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  He promises that He is preparing a place for us, the children who did not reject Him.  He promises He is coming again one day to take us home.  He promises to hold us in His hand, to shelter us under His wings.

         Now, I have new dreams but my dreams are based on His promises.  I can't work, my heart is weak, I have many, many other chronic physical illness.   But, SO WHAT!?  None of these "things" have changed God's love for me, nor do they change my love for Him.

         In fact, I love Him more!

         You, my friend, the one who is reading this, have become a part of one of my new dreams.  It is for you that I am now willing to tell about the difficulties so we may share together in the glories of God.  We all have dreams that have been crushed or simply faded away.   But that is not what our life is about!  Our lives are about what God is doing TODAY!  If we always look back at what we believe we have lost, we can never look ahead to where God is taking us.  Looking back, we keep our minds, our dreams, in the past and don't let God show us that today somewhere, He is giving us a blessing.

         Today, I can breathe without my oxygen for a few hours because I am sitting and resting.  Thank you, Jesus!  Later, when I take my littlest granddaughter to her favorite pizza place, I will need to wear it.  She wanted to try the oxygen so she put the cannula up to her nose and simply said, "Hmmm.  Nice air!"  Yes it is.  Thank you, Jesus, for the nice air!

         Today, I can openly tell about my past because God brought me through it . . . because I let Him . . . because I want to be free in Him today!

         Today. . . oh thank You, Jesus, I have today to share with someone who may need to know that today is his or her day to find you again.

 ****************************************

         Father, I praise you for the young man who needed to know he could dream again, because I too was refreshed in knowing that You have given me new dreams all throughout my life.  Help me to dream again and again and again!  Help us to dream with Your everlasting Promises!  With all my heart, I love YOU!

****************************************